I Knew I Should Have Told You How I Really Felt – Because Now I Fear It’s Too Late.

The day you told me that you didn’t want me anymore, I knew I should have told you how I felt.
I should have told you how much I loved you. I should have told you how I felt safe when I was with you.
I should have told you that you were my world. I didn’t. And now I fear I will never get the chance to say it to your face again.

I should have sat you down and told you why I loved you. It’s easy to tell someone you love them, but it’s altogether something else¬†to explain why. And I knew why.
I loved the way you smiled every time you picked me up from home. I loved the way you used to take my hand and hold it ever so gently.
I loved the way you always looked out for me, held the door for me, and always waited for me. I loved the way you always put your hand on the small of my back and looked at me.

I loved the way you showered me with kisses. I loved the way you looked into my eyes every time you had something to say. I loved how you listened to me when I had something to say and never interrupted until I was finished. I loved the way you raised my self-esteem when I was completely broken and celebrated all my achievements, and encouraged me to be the best I could be. You were perfect, with all your quirks and flaws and I would never change anything about you.
Even though we fought, I knew that we would always work things out.

Now, I know you’re gone. I know that there was a reason for you not wanting me anymore. I felt like my entire world came crashing down. I felt like my heart was being shattered into a million pieces. And each shattered piece was broken into a million more pieces. Time stood still. Every day, I hoped and prayed you would say that it was a mistake.

I don’t have anger or dislike towards you. I just feel incredibly sad. That I tried to do the best I could, but it wasn’t enough. That I wanted to be there for you every step of the way. I ¬†wanted to be there through the good times and the bad, and support you when you needed it the most.
I wanted to be the one you woke up to every morning. The one who you knew, would never leave you and always look out for you. I wanted to walk into the sunset with you, I wanted to hold your hand and tell you that you have me, even when the world seemed against you. But now I fear it may never happen.

As I look back on our time together, I don’t have a single regret. I am glad I loved you with all my heart, I am glad I gave you my heart. You made me the best version of myself and for that, I am forever grateful.
I will always miss you, and even when I see you again sometime in the near future, I will never look at you in anger, but will always smile and thank you for being the person you were to me. You made me smile and made me feel like a person, but more than anything else, you completed me – mind, body and soul, and I thank you for everything you’ve done for me.

 

 

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